A woman in a white Prius drove up, no appointment, pulled into the garage, left the keys in the ignition, walked into the waiting room and took a seat. She didn’t talk to anybody, she didn’t make eye contact with anyone, she was wearing a floor length white coat, sunglasses, and high heels. She looked … out of place. Our staff all assumed she knew what she was doing, based on her behavior – that of a woman who knows exactly what she’s doing.  

After about twenty minutes, she started dinging the little bell at the check-out in the waiting room. She dinged it about thirty-five times within ten seconds and I popped up from three feet away in plain sight and asked if she needed something. 

She said, “OBVIOUSLY.” 

I asked what, exactly, she needed. 

She said, “A FUCKING OIL CHANGE WHY DO YOU THINK I’M HERE?” 

I told her that we’re not really that kind of shop, we’re not really used to walk-in service requests, and that we’ve never really had anyone jut pull in and post up before so please try to understand our confusion. We didn’t mean to keep you waiting. I’m sorry. We just don’t really do walk-in oil changes.  

She asked, ragefully, “THEN WHY THE FUCK YOU GOT ME WAITING HERE FOR THIS LONG?” 

I reminded her that she hadn’t really asked anyone anything, she walked in like she owned the place, and refrained from ever approaching the customer service window in the twenty minutes she’d been sitting there scrolling her phone.  

She asked me, incredulously, why I wouldn’t honor her appointment for the oil change. This is when I realized that she thought she had pulled into the next garage over – the Jiffy Lube. I sent her that way, she left, we never saw her again. 

The next day, our yelp page went fucking insane. Her review was not specific to the lack of attention he’d received in our shop – which I would have understood and felt genuinely bad about that day. But it was about how our facility was oily (it’s an auto shop), how the staff she did see wandering around were poorly dressed (they’re mechanics) and how the customer service representative (me, the one writing this recap) could barely speak or understand English. 

What I still cannot understand is how she confused the Jiffy Lube with our garage in plain sight, but managed to find our site on Yelp!?